World????should i give up

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ (١)
(In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.)

(QS. Huud: 106-108)

فَأَمَّا الَّذِينَ شَقُوا فَفِي النَّارِ لَهُمْ فِيهَا زَفِيرٌ وَشَهِيقٌ (١٠٦)

106. as for those who are wretched, they will be In the Fire, sighing In a High and low tone.

خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا مَا دَامَتِ السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالأرْضُ إِلا مَا شَاءَ رَبُّكَ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ فَعَّالٌ لِمَا يُرِيدُ (١٠٧)

107. they will Dwell therein for All the time that the heavens and the earth endure, except as Your Lord wills. Verily, Your Lord is the doer of what He wills.

وَأَمَّا الَّذِينَ سُعِدُوا فَفِي الْجَنَّةِ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا مَا دَامَتِ السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالأرْضُ إِلا مَا شَاءَ رَبُّكَ عَطَاءً غَيْرَ مَجْذُوذٍ (١٠٨)

108. and those who are blessed, they will be In Paradise, abiding therein for All the time that the heavens and the earth endure, except as Your Lord will, a gift without an end.

we have to thinking again with what will doing.yes..i know sometimes i feel like i wanna dying ..i cant hold anymore..about all the fear,painfull,angry,sadness, i hate that..and i have been tired of being all alone
i hate to crying..i wanna dying..but i have to realized that i should to faced it all..astagfirllah..
im a sinner so im not worth it to talk about like that..
try try try and try to be better people..it's hard..try to make people around me happy..try to make them not disapointed to me...yes people who i love..
im not ready to left this world even though its so hard but im not ready..what i have done???did they enough to i bring go to the beyond??
and i can answer : "nothing..still nothing what i had done before..and im still cant bring anything"


so i should to survive..keep fighting for my life

I am Jealous

emmmm u know about jealous?? jealous is cemburu or gelos or jaloers or eifersüchtig or jaloux whatever that but yeah jealous is jealous and i hate that feeling..u know what it make me wanna kill someone...arrghhhhhh shit....!! i know that feeling supposed there are in here..in the world..but when i feeling that arrrghhhh im going mad u know..ouhh shit..make me have to take deep breath like right now..
why people have to feel like this?????

hey u know what Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. It is not to be confused with envy.

Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been observed in infants five months old and older.Some claim that jealousy is seen in every culture; however, others claim jealousy is a culture-specific phenomenon.

Jealousy as an emotion or the impact of jealousy has been a theme of many novels, songs, poems, films and other artistic works. It has also been a topic of interest for scientists, artists, and theologians. Psychologists have proposed several models of the processes underlying jealousy and have identified factors that result in jealousy. Sociologists have demonstrated that cultural beliefs and values play an important role in determining what triggers jealousy and what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy. Biologists have identified factors that may unconsciously influence the expression of jealousy. Artists have explored the theme of jealousy in photographs, paintings, movies, songs, plays, poems, and books.
and i'll learn it.. oke by the way i got a website about to stop being jealous .omggg i cant believe it..possibility i have to do follow this website to learn stop being jealous???
this is from website www.jealousnomore.com
^What jealousy really is and what you have to do to overcome it.

^When you are jealous, what are the two ways most people are jealous and how do you stop these two ways of being jealous from ruining your relationships?

^What is the negative belief that almost every couple has about being jealous that actually reinforces and perpetuates the feelings of jealousy?

^The single biggest thing you MUST do in order to STOP Being jealous in your relationships (This is not what you think)

^One simple mind-shift that you can do any time, any where, that can stop the jealous feelings cold in their tracks

^When being jealous is actually good for you and actually help make your relationships stronger

^And much, much more...

hahahhaha omg it's ridiculous hahaha
oke i will try to follow that was link...

omg oke..i have been learning one lesson from that was website..
emm i have to do something with my mind..yupss.. i know i have to rid all my negative thinking and then i know that i have to change from where i am now emotionally and
personally to being in a place where i am fervently wanting
something more (and better) for my relationships and my life.

Jealousy keeps i stuck and if left unhealed, can and very often
does ruin relationships.

Allowing jealousy to continue to be a problem is not a recipe
for a happy and successful life.

yupss i got it...
ok..so left it all about painful in ur past experience dini..yups and get the other ways for ur mind thinking...

haha bravoooo

lyric song Travie McCoy feat Bruno Mars -billionaire

[Bruno Mars]
I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
Buy all of the things I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen

[Chorus]
Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
For when I’m a billionaire

[Travis "Travie" McCoy]
Yeah I would have a show like Oprah
I would be the host of, everyday Christmas
Give Travie a wish list
I’d probably pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt
And adopt a bunch of babies that ain’t never had sh-t
Give away a few Mercedes like here lady have this
And last but not least grant somebody their last wish
Its been a couple months since I’ve single so
You can call me Travie Claus minus the Ho Ho
Get it, hehe, I’d probably visit where Katrina hit
And damn sure do a lot more than FEMA did
Yeah can’t forget about me stupid
Everywhere I go Imma have my own theme music

[Chorus]
Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
For when I’m a billionaire
Oh oooh oh oooh for when I’m a Billionaire
Oh oooh oh oooh for when I’m a Billionaire

[Travis "Travie" McCoy]
I’ll be playing basketball with the President
Dunking on his delegates
Then I’ll compliment him on his political etiquette
Toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it
But keep the fives, twentys (?) completely separate
And yeah I’ll be in a whole new tax bracket
We in recession but let me take a crack at it
I’ll probably take whatevers left and just split it up
So everybody that I love can have a couple bucks
And not a single tummy around me would know what hungry was
Eating good sleeping soundly
I know we all have a similar dream
Go in your pocket pull out your wallet
And put it in the air and sing

[Bruno Mars]
I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
Buy all of the things I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen
[Chorus]
I wanna be a billionaire so frickin bad..

hard day

lately i was break with my boyfriend..it was 1 week..realy hard to through it..and full of confuse, hurt, afraid, but finaly im surrender and hopeless.i was realize that i have to accept all.even it's hurt.yup he need my answer..i will be with him or not next year..and i have been talk to him about faith.it's realy important to me and my family especialy my parent.they are religious..i was affraid.the fear like night mare for me.everyday..but i already confess to my boyfriend..it's realy hard.i felt like realy hopeless.i was down.my soul my heart is can't touch...i didn't know all like blowing out my mind i didn't know what i had to do..
he realy hate me..i know he was mad because what i did.i know he hurt because of me..because all the thing suck like that.make my brain drain..hurt honey i knew..u know when we were break almost everyday i was crying..crying and crying..thinking about all realy hard..it's not fair.why????and than i just could to pray to make me calm down and need help from God..just to show me what i had to do..

finaly my boyfriend can accept that and he was decision something realy important for me..make me calm.make me like im still have hopefull about us..so i think i should to dont give up..keep positif thinking..
yeah i should.
but today i was speak again with my boyfriend.i know he is afraid..but realy that make me down again..he wondering about my parent that will not give us permision to merried and life together.it's hurt but i know he was confuse about all.i know relationship like this is not normal like usualy people fallen in love..i know that.
but how we can know about all if we are not try something to first.but i know how he is like that..i know//im sory honey make me feel like this..
I LOVE u im sorry.be honest i dont wanna make u including in this part..u know i realy happy if i can be with u..and i will tell to my parent..but is not like just tell to them and then that's all..noooo i will being try to make them give us permission..realy..because i realy LOVE u..
iulian im sorry if sometimes i realy quiet if u tell to me something..not becoz of im not serious to u but that's becouse of my languege and i dont know i always speechless.fuck why i have to be like that..but what can i do..that's i am..
idiot shittt!!!!ouhh foolish
oke dont blame blame blame it...
this is big problem for me u know.but i realy dont regret that i love u and i know u.
did u know?this feeling is realy wonderfull..
what do u think why i can love u iulian and then i dont wanna lose u??
u know what is that?
because i feel it's not afair if we cant be together.i love u and u love me..u have good purpose ,planing..u wanna married me ,serious it's realy took my breath away..
i know we are defferent culture,skin,country so many much about deferent but only u can make me thinking about my future iulian and thinking how if realy i can be with u in my whole life.. strange..that what i feel sometimes..
u know iulian before i met u here..i was thinking that boys is suck for all.just can make me hurt, betray me,playing girls,lie to me,,huuhhhfff....but u was breaking that.

huuhhhffff almost morning but i cant sleep right know..im still thinking about u honey..about us..
tonight,cold but im not feeling that..i dont know but im going be mad like this..arrgghhhhhhhhhhhhh i wanna screaminggggggggggggggggggggggggg
i wanna dying realy..oh my god Allah..forgive me..i know im sinner..im not a perfect muslim..bad girl..but i wanna be better people god..i dont wanna make mistake like before..like my past..no more mistakes..i hate that..i wanna be better show me what i have to do for my life..
no one understand me ALLah only u know who i am..even myself i dont know.